The Stag's Journey to the River

The Stag was tired.

Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. The kind that lives in your bones.

Every morning, he woke before the others. Checked the forest for danger. Made decisions. Kept everyone safe.

The Rat was always there by his side, whispering, "Stay alert. They're counting on you. Don't let them see you're struggling."

The Stag thought: "I just need rest."

But when he tried to rest, the Rat wouldn't let him. "Not yet. Not safe. Keep going."

One day, an old stag told him about a River. "I used to go there," he said, "when I was too tired to keep running. There's a friend there called Wren."

The Stag wanted to go. But the Rat said, "What if something happens while you're gone? There is too much to do. What if they realise they don't need you?"

So the Stag stayed. And got more tired.

Until one morning, he couldn't anymore.

The Stag left before dawn. The Rat was already talking: "This is a mistake. Turn back. You don't even know where you're going."

The Stag kept walking.

The forest grew quiet. No familiar paths. No herd to watch over. Just trees and the sound of his own breathing.

The Rat: "You're exposed out here. Anyone could see you. What if you need help? What if..."

"I know," interrupted the Stag. "But I'm still walking."

Then he heard it. A small voice from above: "Why are you walking?"

The Stag looked up. A tiny bird sat on a branch. "Are you... Wren?"

"I am. Why are you walking?"

"I'm looking for the River," said the Stag.

"And why are you looking for the River?"

The Stag paused. "Because I'm tired."

"Of what?"

The Stag didn't know how to answer. Tired of everything? Tired of being tired?

"I don't know," he finally said.

"Then keep walking," said the Wren. "The River will show you."

The Stag walked for hours. The Wren flew alongside, sometimes ahead, sometimes behind. Wren didn't say much, just the occasional question.

By midday, the Stag reached a clearing. Open space. No cover.

The Rat: "Don't. Too exposed. Go around."

The Stag stopped at the edge. The clearing was huge. Going around would take hours.

"What do you see?" said the Wren.

"DANGER," screamed the Rat.

The Stag paused. Looked again. Trees on all sides. Birds in the sky. Nothing moving.

"I... don't actually see any danger," he said.

"Then what are you afraid of?"

"Being seen," said the Stag quietly.

"By who?"

The Stag didn't answer. He just started walking across the clearing. His legs shook. The Rat screamed the whole way: "Too open! Turn back! You're making a mistake!"

But nothing happened. He reached the other side.

The Wren landed on a branch. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," said the Stag. "But... different."

By evening, the Stag heard water. The Rat went quiet.

"That's strange," said the Stag.

"What is?" said the Wren.

"The Rat. It's... not talking."

"What is it not saying?" said the Wren.

"There is no fear"

"Exactly."

The Stag stopped. "I don't understand."

The Wren flew down and landed on a rock in front of him. "What happens when you don't feel fear?"

The Stag felt something loosen. "Excitement, bliss."

"You're seeing clearly without fear."

"The Rat doesn't either. That's what it's afraid of."

The Stag stood there. The sound of water was close now. His whole body wanted to turn back.

"What if I can't do this?" he said.

"Do what?" said the Wren.

"Stop. Rest. Just... be here."

"You're already here," said the Wren. "You're just noticing how hard it is."

The Stag took a breath. Kept walking.

The trees opened. And there it was.

The River.

Wide. Clear. Flowing steady and quiet.

The Stag stood at the edge. He'd imagined this moment for weeks. He thought he'd feel relief. Peace. Something.

But he just felt... nothing. Empty.

The Rat came back, loud: "See? Nothing here. You came all this way for nothing. The herd is probably in danger. You should go back."

The Stag's legs started to turn.

"Wait," said the Wren.

The Stag stopped.

"What are you feeling right now?" asked Wren.

"Nothing. I don't feel anything."

"Where is 'nothing' in your body?"

The Stag paused. "My... chest. It's tight."

"Stay with it."

The Stag stood there. The tightness grew. Then something cracked. His breathing changed. And suddenly, he started crying.

He didn't know why. He just stood by the River and cried.

The Rat said nothing. The Wren said nothing. The River just held.

After a long time, the Stag's breathing steadied. The tightness in his chest eased.

He looked at the River. Still flowing. Still here.

The Rat's voice came back, quieter now: "We should go. This isn't safe. The herd needs..."

"I know what you're doing," said the Stag softly.

The Rat went silent.

"You've been trying to keep me safe. All these years. Every warning. Every 'stay alert.' Every 'don't let them see.' You were protecting me."

The Rat said nothing.

"I've been fighting you. Trying to silence you. Prove you wrong. But you were just doing what you thought you had to do."

The Stag took a breath.

"I love you, Rat."

Silence. The River flowed.

The Wren observed from a nearby stone. "That's better," Wren said quietly.

The Stag looked at Wren. "What just happened?"

"You stopped fighting," said the Wren. "The Rat doesn't need to shout when it's been heard."

The Stag sat by the River. The Rat was still there; he could feel it. But it wasn't screaming anymore. It was just... present.

"So Rat will always be there?" said the Stag.

"Yes," said the Wren. "But it just needed to know you were listening."

The Stag stood there. For the first time in years, the Rat was completely quiet.

"How long can I stay?" he asked.

"As long as you need," said the Wren. "But the River isn't a place. It's a state. You can return to it anytime."

"How?"

"By noticing when the Rat is talking. And choosing—just for a moment—not to listen."

The Stag looked at the River. It didn't promise safety. It didn't promise answers. It just kept moving.

And somehow, that was enough.

The next morning, the Stag started walking back to the forest.

The Rat woke up: "Finally. Let's go. They probably think you're dead."

The Stag smiled. "Maybe."

The Wren flew ahead. "You'll be tested," Wren said.

"I know."

"The Rat will want to keep you safe."

"I know."

"But you'll remember the River."

"I will."

When the Stag returned, the herd was exactly where he left them. Grazing. Resting. Safe.

Nothing had fallen apart.

One of the younger deer ran up. "Where were you? We were worried!"

Before the Stag could answer, the Rat jumped in: "Tell them you were scouting for danger. Tell them you were protecting them. Don't let them think."

The Stag paused. Noticed the voice. Took a breath.

"I needed rest," he said simply. "So I went to the River."

The younger deer blinked. "Oh. Are you okay now?"

"I'm here," said the Stag. "That's enough."

The Stag still led the herd. Still made decisions. Still felt pressure.

But something was different.

When the Rat started talking, "Stay alert! Don't let them see! Keep going!"—the Stag could hear it. Not as truth. Just as a voice.

Sometimes he listened. Sometimes he didn't.

And on the days when the forest felt too heavy, when the decisions felt too hard, when the Rat wouldn't stop shouting, the Stag would close his eyes. And remember the River.

Still. Flowing. Always there.

"Where is the pressure?" the Wren had asked.

And the Stag would locate it. In his chest. His shoulders. His breath.

And slowly, not always, but sometimes, it would release.

The Rat never went away. The Stag never stopped leading.

The River doesn't defend. It just flows.

Stories from the Vltava River by Andrew Sillitoe

About Andrew Sillitoe

Andrew Sillitoe is a former international athlete and coach turned integrative practical philosopher. He integrates philosophy, neuroscience, and two decades of coaching into a practice that addresses what executive development typically ignores: the gap between professional mastery and personal coherence.

After a marital crisis in 2017 revealed he was performing everywhere—even at home—Andrew spent two years examining the patterns that kept him defending against life rather than being present for it. He moved to Prague with his wife and children and began working differently.

He now works with founders and senior executives who recognise this exhaustion in themselves. Leaders from around the world travel to Prague to walk by the Vltava River with him for intensive one-day sessions.

His approach integrates philosophy with neuroscience through the "Stories from the Vltava"—dialogues between the Stag (you under pressure), the Rat (your defence), and the Wren (inquiry that returns you to presence).

Andrew helps leaders stop defending and start leading.

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