Presence, Not Performance

You’ve walked into a room—
your team, your board, even your family—
and felt the gap.

Awkwardness.
Inauthenticity.
The sense you weren’t showing up with the grounded confidence you wanted.

The harder you tried to be your “best self,”
the further away it felt.

Because presence isn’t performance.

Trying to be your best self creates two traps:
The mask people sense but don’t trust.
The endless second-guessing in your head:
Did I say it right? Was I strong enough? Was I clear enough?

I know that trap.
I’ve walked into rooms leading corporate teams.
I’ve stood in the dressing room coaching elite teams.
The moments that connected most weren’t polished.
They were real.

Here’s the paradox:
When you stop trying to be your best self,
you actually become it.

It begins with acceptance.
Acceptance of who you are in this moment—
your energy, your emotions, your imperfections.

Self-acceptance equals self-improvement.
Because presence is alignment.
What you feel inside matches what others sense outside.

Without it, you split.
The words say one thing.
The body another.
Trust collapses.

With it, everything shifts.
Congruence.
Safety.
Connection.
Influence.

So here’s one practice:
Pause before the meeting.
Breathe.
Drop into your body.
Notice what’s there.
Let it soften.

Step into the room as if you were with a trusted friend.
Not to impress.
Not to perform.
Simply to connect.

When you do this, people lean in.
They feel the presence of the leader in front of them.
And they follow it.

Because in leadership, there is always an energy exchange.
Mask it, and the exchange collapses.
Show up present, and it deepens trust, loyalty, and influence.

Presence isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being here.
Now.

Yours truly,
Andrew

P.S. These letters are meant to journey. Pass them to the person who comes to mind.

P.P.S If you’re ready to reconnect with that clarity, start with the 90-Minute Reset.